The Nobel Prize for a Happy Marriage

The Nobel prize for a happy marriage……?
 
Recently I was together with a group of marriage celebrants sharing ideas on the key ingredients for a long term happy , healthy relationship. Of course, if we knew that, we would win the Nobel prize for happy marriage!
 
Here are 4 ideas for you to consider to enjoy a happy health relationship.
 
1.Do not Expect Perfection

We know that things are not always perfect , however some people bring to a relationship a desire for perfection.
 
Some religious rituals include an acknowledgement that we are not perfect. For example, the breaking of the glass at a Jewish wedding ceremony reminds the couple that things are not always perfect.
When you think about it, it is the imperfection that allows growth and maturity within the relationship.
We all accept that life often throws unexpected situations at us and it is in these moments that a couple can embark on an exploration of life together.
 
2. Always Communicate

How often have you heard someone say that this is the core reason for the end of a relationship ?
With so many books, trained professionals on hand it seems odd that communication is not addressed more often.
It seems obvious that if you don’t communicate thoughts and feelings , then the partner cannot respond to wishes and change.
It is as if couples expect the other party to be a mind reader !
Effective, respectful and open communication is an art. It can be learnt.
 
3. Be Ready to Give

We now know from research that giving creates positive chemical changes in both the giver and the receiver. Depressed people, when asked to give a small gift, even to a random person, became happier.
Giving actively enhances the relationship. Whilst this may require a shift in one’s thinking it is relatively easy to start. A small gift every now and again can make a big difference.
 
4. Remember to Have Fun

We all can get caught up in our projects and in the chores we have to do. If marriage is seen as another chore, or even project ,  there is the danger that the relationship becomes strained and fun goes out the window.
 
There are many suggestions written and discussed on the importance of making the relationship spontaneous , exciting , refreshing and enjoyable. If you can find some that work for you, you are well on the road to a long term happy and healthy relationship.